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kimberleigh a holman

  • Home
  • About
    • Bio
    • Artist Statement
  • Work
    • What's on the line...
    • Common Circus
    • Contradictions + Casual Self Loathing
    • rabbit hole cycles
    • Between Words & Space
    • Clay Installation
    • Roadtrip Dances
    • Garden
    • The Last Days of Summer
    • Getting There is Half the Battle
    • Chronology of Concert Dance Works
    • Theatre | Design | Commercial
  • Press
  • Blog
  • Luminarium

Digesting the Dance Experience via Gallim Dance's W H A L E

More often than not I prefer not to define dance (if you've been to my blog this is old news). I feel a certain depth of infuriation when well-meaning patrons and peers attribute the form to the pursuit of a specific technique or subjugate the entire genre with a quantified assessment of physicality in the work. The need to define pushes audience members to focus on ‘getting it’ instead of allowing them the permission to sit back and observe, letting their senses balance and guide their path through a performance. This is not to point fingers directly at audience members, but of my experiences observing US viewing-culture, it’s perhaps not so much an individual’s bad habits as an epidemic. This rigidity enables viewers to pass judgement on their perceived success of a work based on if they can identify and classify the movement happening on stage. It’s worth noting that this distaste for parameters and qualifiers is likely due to the fact that my own work in dance tends to stray from technical display, I’m more interested in building statements from physical bodies in whatever way I find most fitting, and my own making bias and a history of viewers offering classification in response to my work certainly contributes to my opinions.

What I feel confident to state about dance is that it is ephemeral. The dance I seek out burns brightest in its brief live form— when its creators and performers realize how deep a platform they have to deliver something incredibly fleeting. This brevity makes everything high-stakes; touch and presence and embodiment are either authentic or artificial. With this statement I don’t mean to discredit artifice, which is truly an exciting tool, but I’m more enamored with the challenge of creating authenticity onstage, a delightful albeit daunting task. Successful dance has moments I can relate to and experience, certain circumstances delivered and decoded straight through the gut. These moments lend themselves to performances I fall in love with and declare war upon, my admiration and hatred coming from these visceral interpretations. The simplified version of this: dance provokes feeling.

Every now and then, aforementioned frustrations taken into consideration, I find myself so unmistakably in the presence of dance that all I can do is bask in such a moment of clarity. Gallim Dance’s W H A L E (which I attended February 11 at the Institute of Contemporary Art/Boston) provided such a brilliantly clear moment, embodying dance and constantly provoking reaction over seventy brief and captivating minutes. Risking hypocrisy with such a definitive statement, as I sat and watched the performers dive into the piece I realized that dance is getting it done, doing the work (the it, intangible, and the work, in this case, not so much the steps but the actions prompted by these extracts of life and conjectures of how love, sex, and domesticity exist in day-to-day life). The company members regardless of shape, size, strength or sex picked each other up, threw each other about the stage, ran up each other's bodies and invested themselves in the very presence of the piece— the action was all at once daily routine and lavish display. Commitment to a central line of inquiry from conceptual, physical and aesthetic perspectives all led to the success of the work as a whole.

Created by Andrea Miller and her company and collaborators, W H A L E is self-described as utilizing “radical physical language and impulsive narrative pace to juxtapose love, sex and domesticity. This piece trails the human pursuit to love and be loved, and navigates the expectations, anxiety, and forgiveness surrounding this struggle through moments of emotional vulnerability, sensual abandonment, and spiritual tribulation.” The work’s aesthetic, captured through intense and specific movement vocabulary and simple visuals, centered around the imperfect and uncomfortable, specifically vulnerability, intimacy and attraction. Miller’s movement, based in the Gaga style and influenced by her time in Ohad Naharin’s Batsheva Ensemble, is radical indeed, a perfect vehicle for the work. While Gaga as a movement language is about listening to one’s internal impulses it goes far beyond somatic pleasure, displaying as the quirkiest output of physicality, sensation, and thought— perhaps because it doesn’t adhere to a classical genre despite being performed by highly trained bodies. This absolute freedom in movement enabled the performers to share not just their brilliant physicality but glimmers of their own life experiences, impulses and instinctual reactions. Limbs moved as if they were suddenly animated by electricity, upper and lower bodies moved independently of each other in relation to the commands of the core, gestures of all sizes erupted from fingers, faces, and posture. I can’t imagine this work utilizing any other vocabulary and holding on to its ability to explore relationship to such depth.

Movement vocabulary led to various forms of partnering, and all performed physicality came directly back to experienced relationship, impressive, considering the vast and varied aspects of connection found in the work. In the first few moments of the piece, a performer ran up another performer’s body. It was such a straight forward aggression— the soles of one’s flat bare feet thudding up the surface of another’s body— and it was thrilling and reminiscent of the brutal aggressions one only has with someone that they hold incredibly close. A bit later a duet brought me to tears; Miller didn’t prescribe any sort of overt narrative here, but the performers fluctuated between such tender and vigorous treatment of each other’s bodies and trust that the moment couldn’t resist providing a sense of voyeuristic intimacy. Later, a woman ran infinite circles around a male performer only breaking her path to strike her partner again and again with body and firsts. Watching this segment transported me to earlier in the day where I was beyond frustrated with my own partner and couldn’t help the endless verbal jabs that I knew wouldn’t help the situation in the long run— here it was in physical form. Aggressive, tender, and ridiculous, every moment of partnering, duet and ensemble work reminded me of how there are some physical aspects of ourselves that only the most intimate partner will ever see. Beyond sex and physical intimacy, the obvious examples, a partner sees the ridiculous, absurd, embarrassing and silly physical successes and fails that are not often performed to one’s closest circle of family and friends. The physicality was so effective at reaching inside a viewer to point to our own stored memories that the work as a whole felt more personal an experience than a performance.

Aside from its brilliant movement, W H A L E’s visual and auditory ideas merged familiar Gallim Dance aesthetic—for example neutral lighting interspersed with vivid broad color washes, play with footlight and multi-dimensional shadow, a brilliant sound score blending percussion, pop music, live vocals and electronic sound— with the effective use of nudity and scenic design in the form of a large tarp.  Since vulnerability is a massive component of love, sex and relationship I expected it to be explored throughout the work, but I was surprised to see it not just accomplished through performance but through such aesthetic as simple plastic sheeting as the sole scenic element. The second half of the first act featured a naked man both dancing solo and amidst three clothed peers. He danced vigorously by himself across the space and throughout the milky-white slightly translucent tarp that came to life with light and almost swallowed the man up like a cloud, despite its constant plasticky rustling. In the quartet work he tried to nestle himself into the tight formations of his fellow performers, who continuously seemed to squeeze him out of the group, poignant given his bare state. His sweaty body, after such athleticism, and proximity to the other performers asked us to evaluate comfort zone, to confront that intimacy isn’t always clean and pretty. Beyond what was happening onstage, I found myself tuning in to those sitting around me; who was comfortable, who started to squirm or question where they placed their gaze? The man sitting next to me reached for his female partner’s hand. From across the room I heard a quiet giggle. The woman in front of me tensed up and didn’t know where to look. We revisited naked human bodies at the end of the second act, when each performer meditatively tumbled across the stage in various states of undress, each in an invisible lane, before quickly sprinting for clothes as they began to sing Nat King Cole’s ‘L-O-V-E’ and find space for bows. In this instance vulnerability gave way to humor, another aesthetic choice for another discussion.

While still digesting W H A L E a few days post-show, I was disappointed to read a handful of mediocre reviews in Boston-area papers, amidst what feels like a local “make art literal again” movement.  I absolutely believe each and every viewer should have a different experience, art is thrilling because of its endless varietals. The critical responses to the show, however, seemed to discredit its lack of dance and dance within developed concept which, love or hate what Gallim Dance presented, just wasn’t the case. What I extract from this viewing experience is support for my theory that the need to label and define work takes away from the viewing experience. When we throw away trepidations about what defines a genre and what the rules for the stage space are, we get work as brilliant as Gallim Dance’s W H A L E. I think those individuals that focused on unidentifiable/nontraditional movement vocabulary, verbalizing dancers, and nudity, had a far inferior viewing experience than that of those who simply took in a highly visual and articulate statement on relationship.

tags: dance, contemporary dance, modern dance, postmodern dance, whale, gallim dance, andrea miller, boston, boston dance, critical response
categories: Topics for Discussion, Reflection & Exploration
Wednesday 04.26.17
Posted by Kimberleigh Holman
 

Roadtrip Dances: Final Report

For anyone still curious about my Roadtrip Dances project from last August, the final report can be found at this link or by clicking the image to the right.

The report discusses my inspirations, frustrations, and general observations amidst more photos and documentation of a trip that spanned fifteen states, fifteen hundred miles, five days, and several public performances in capitols, city centers, parks, rest stops, and abandoned alleys. 

Any insight or question is welcome, as always. I hope it inspires a reader or two to inspect their surroundings and their place within.

Many thanks to Caty, for being an excellent travel companion, and also to those of you who were able to meet us along the trip for neighborhood tours, breaks, and general refreshment for our tired traveling bodies. 

 

tags: road trip, roadtrip dances, improvisation, travel, modern dance, dance everywhere
categories: Roadtrip Dances, Reflection & Exploration
Wednesday 01.11.17
Posted by Kimberleigh Holman
 

Things I know/Things I'm not entitled to know but I know anyways

Midnight on a Friday and I'm staring into a tiny ceramic dish in the kitchen holding three bobbypins, two quarters, a nickel, some incidental coffee grounds and a screw. I'm sure everyone has a vessel like this, and I can't remember the last time I wore the bobbypins. To my left is a letter that's not addressed to me, the magnetic pull is strong. My focus on the dish is belittled by my side eye on the letter, but to be honest I've already read it. 

How exhilarating it is to be a validated fly on the wall. Being mute but also unasked, all the while knowing the ending to the chapter or story in your bones. If I was a better writer I could've taken a close compositional guess at this letter years ago, but instead it's been lurking in the back of my brain, every now and then drifting into the present for contemplation. The time hadn't been right. 

I'm building a new duet where my primary twosome maintains gripping communication with each other while they are surrounded by observing bodies that don't get to engage, and I'm fairly sure this would be a moment akin to one of my silent observers. I've been struggling with the presence and tasks of the observers as their task is just to be present, making a sort of internal captain's log of their experience. This is the most difficult part as a creator of performance: importing enough sensation, cause and effect from this exact point in time into the work so that maybe my performers can find it, and maybe just maybe the audience members can pick up on the magic that's happening live. It's impossible to bottle experience, but perhaps possible to rediscover.  

In other thoughts, how great would it be to be a professional fly on the wall?

tags: composition, observation, Making work, Fly on the wall, Rambling, Duet, Words, Dance, latenight, observations, Validation
categories: Bits of life, Reflection & Exploration
Saturday 10.01.16
Posted by Kimberleigh Holman
Comments: 2
 

Garden: an exploration into video

As a professional artist-turned-grad-student I've realized that a huge part of my practice is finding the balance between ability, passion, and permission in creative work. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is equally important to taking risks, taking on challenge, and letting excitement lead the way. Another post for another day. 

I recently took on a passion project when Mali Sastri (Jaggery) bestowed upon me the honor of making a music video for the band's gorgeous song Garden. While I hadn't previously worked on video, excepting a small amount of commercial work, I had wanted to for some time... especially growing up as a music video junkie.  I didn't originally intend on editing the piece myself, but as I immersed in the project there was a sort of beauty in the consistency of allowing my vision to organically take control of each aspect as I learned about the piece as a whole and what it needed to say. I'm beyond grateful to have so many wonderfully understanding producers in my life, this time Mali, that allow me to work fairly autonomously and fully trust my process, and enhancing my practice by discovering the power and use of dance for camera has been incredible.

This wasn't meant to be a post about process, so excuse the jump in flow. I recently rediscovered the pages in my notebook (below) with some very early and rough Garden sketches. One of my many methods in musing on new work is to have a seriously meditative drawing session. I'm by no means a visual artist and a rarely share my sketches as I wouldn't want them misinterpreted as product when they're simply part of my process, but this time around I can't help it. Below are the pages I sketched across while listening to the song on repeat. Further below is a gallery with film stills from the footage I shot, seriously representative of the sketches! What makes this exciting to me is that I didn't look back at the sketches after my initial session of doodling imagery, my fairly regular process. There was at least a month between drawing and filming, another chunk of time between extracting footage from the camera and starting to organize and edit, and yet there are so many consistencies in the images from my notebook and the film stills. Cool! (Or maybe I'm just geeking out...)

Above, sketches from early in the process. Below, an assortment of similar film stills. Consistency!

Above, sketches from early in the process. Below, an assortment of similar film stills. Consistency!

screenshot 2 (1).jpg screenshot 15.jpg screenshot 23.jpg screenshot 3.jpg screenshot 14.jpg screenshot 13.jpg

I might be the only individual that's taken by the similarity in this bank of images, I think because it's rare for me to not have a thought continuously morph and evolve as I create. Sure, while creating the movement I learned more about what the piece needed to be, and sure, while filming and editing more of the subtle story began to dictate itself, but my original bank of imagery held up throughout. I think this song, or my relationship to it and interpretation of it, has been clearly understood from the start. 

The best news? The video premieres tomorrow! Join us at OBERON for Jaggery's Org: Black and White Ball at 8pm in Harvard Square for live performances, incredible music, and of course the Garden video debut. 

Photos and video feature Luminarium's Jessica Chang, Melenie Diarbekirian, Katie McGrail, Merli V. Guerra and Alison McHorney. 

tags: dance, video, dance for camera, boston, jaggery, music video, sketches, sketch, notes, notebook, images, imagery, opportunity
categories: Reflection & Exploration
Thursday 07.28.16
Posted by Kimberleigh Holman
 

Losing Creativity

I was spending time with a dear friend last week and in the midst of our afternoon-long conversation she remarked "perhaps I'm just not creative anymore,"  in regards to career. (This friend, might I add, is a talented writer who has acted, directed, improvised, etc., I could sing praises of her creative self for days.)  This interaction made my brain respond by pulling in two separate directions: a triggered worry and reassurance. How fleeting is our creativity? Why must there be a sense of fear in regard to something that functions as a release? In contrast to my questions, I'm a firm believer that everyone is creative but recognize that it's a tool that requires utilization to access with ease. More on that later.

I'd be lying if I said I had never worried that my creativity would dry up, that one day I would wake up unable to produce an idea for something new to try, and the longer conversation between my friend and I certainly stirred that whispering voice in the back of my head. As an artist attached to a company with a regular performance schedule there's an additional sense of pressure that there always needs to be a next new idea. The truth is there doesn't always need to be an immediate next idea, that worry is entirely self-imposed, but I do feel it and the superficial need to keep the company relevant. Perhaps that's a ridiculous concept to acknowledge, constant production for the sake of production does seem to defeat the point of being an artist, but the point of a blog is to be candid for everyone's betterment and shared experience, right?

Why does worry surround art and creativity? Professional artists to creative hobbyists and all in between, everyone seems to be afflicted with at least a touch of stress, mainly when it comes to sharing one's art publicly. By worrying about how what we make is received I think that we are losing the point of making. Considering if masses will love or hate what we put into the world obscures the major fact that by putting something into the world we are contributing to society's culture - important! There is also no way to win that internal debate; if everything you make and share is 'good', your lack of lows diminishes the success of your highs (the idea of success alone merits its own post), in my own opinion. 

Worries aside, I think that any human being can practice creativity and even more that the regular practice of being creative stimulates naturally occurring creativity - a mutually beneficial cycle. Taking the pressure off making a product by, you know, removing the product leaves us simply with the worry-free act of making. The act of practicing creativity is not so much to be able to produce or not, but more so to refine one's craft and make new discoveries.  By doing, by practicing, both doing and practicing become such second nature that the creative person can narrow their focus when we finally return to that idea of making something. 

In order to be more proactive here are of my favorite exercises that are perfect for non-movers or movers, career artists or those who pursue creative endeavors recreationally - anyone who wants to ease access to regular creativity that's already lurking beneath the surface!

  • Authentic movement/improv exercises. A set amount of time or not, filmed or not filmed, every single day I like to very briefly let my body do what it pleases. No 'dance' required, unless my body feels like adhering to technique. 
  • Movement sketches. Observe something, find a way to pay quick/easy homage to it in movement. Last week it was mall-goers.
  • Regular sketches. Really, doodling. I do this in an attempt to become better at drawing people and movement (no signs of improvement yet, by the way) but also to practice the skill of finishing things as it's really hard for me to abandon a sketch.
  • Transcribing. Going into a coffee shop, riding the subway, sneakily eavesdropping on family and friends... the best justification for snooping on others. Write down all that you hear for a set period of time or for the duration of a conversation. I've found this provides an additional interesting exercise of taking apart and reassembling/generally tinkering with the structure of the original conversation.
  • Writing! The old standard. I wish I was better at doing this regularly, but when I remember I enjoy picking a number of pages or a number of minutes to write and just getting words on paper. I can't do this on a computer, and I often rip the paper from a notebook and recycle it when I'm done. Not because I care about the quality, I like the temporary-ness.

What do you do for a regular practice of creativity? 

In wrapping up this entry I think it's important to note that one doesn't have to be an artist or dabble in making art to be considered creative. Creative problem solving is something most individuals do regularly and is no less valid of a form of creativity than making art; thinking outside the box is a vital skill to practice. Also, before I finish I must thank the friend mentioned in the anecdote at the beginning of the post! She inspired me to craft this piece, and I'm notoriously terrible at starting, finishing and publishing my thoughts - practice in action. I like to think our conversation, in some small part, also reinvigorated her need for daily practice, and I'm really excited to see where it takes her. 

For those of you still unconvinced of your own creativity, pick up a copy of this brilliant (and yet remarkably common sense) read and get going!

tags: creativity, creation, making, art, worry, practice, process
categories: Topics for Discussion, Reflection & Exploration
Tuesday 05.03.16
Posted by Kimberleigh Holman
 

i hate performing/the quest for self exploration

For the last several years I’ve been quick to state that I hate performing, though I love dancing and moving. Growing up taking dance class after dance class I was always the blank-faced kid on stage, feeling openly resentful towards the artificiality of ‘pulling face’, but so eager to take on the physical challenge of dance. (Spoiler alert: I still feel that way - even as a choreographer that asks for facial involvement in some of my work - more power to those of you who enjoy that sort of thing.) In college I was really aware of my imperfect technique and lack of natural flexibility and a ‘dancer’s body’ and with the beginning stages of a hip injury that followed me through the past decade, my distaste for the ‘being on stage’ part of dance grew and grew and was easily justifiable in my own thoughts. Honestly there was nothing to miss by taking myself out of the performance equation; I’ve always wanted to create, never perform, and I find no greater personal satisfaction than in developing new work on a group of performers and watching it become their own physical and mental property - magic.

This year something happened.

A month ago I found myself in the midst of an hour-long solo performance, engrossed in what I was doing and truly enjoying it. Yes, it was a safe space and I was surrounded by peers. Yes, I had created the work from a completely genuine place with a collaborator I trusted. But… I [think I] was performing. And enjoying it.

I’m curious about everything - especially the inner workings of the brain - and have the tendency to crave the search for ‘why’, we can blame this on being the offspring of a therapist. Of course my brain jumped on the task of determining how and why this shift snuck up on me. I could track threads back to fall 2014, when I was participating in a choreographer’s residency at Green Street Studios (immediately after hip surgery) and had to share work that I was exploring with outside eyes. I remember being slightly terrified and equally thrilled when Karen Krolak and Lorraine Chapman pushed pushed pushed me one weekday morning just to be real, to be present, to deliver the movement I made as my own impulse dictated at the time. What felt right? Where did my body want to pause, and why ignore it? Karen, who I consider a great mentor, spent a few more mornings on the hunt for the identity of this phrase, continuing to (delightfully) challenge the process. Another evening Andy Taylor Blenis pushed me through that same phrase focusing on owning the physicality in the present. Real… present… These were things I totally stand behind as a human, and my conception of a performer based outside of one’s own true self started to melt. I’m not sure any of these wonderful women artists know what they jumpstarted, as they kindly shared their time, compassion and thoughts, or that it took me a full year and a half later to find the depth of my gratitude!

Another opportunity to be grateful for and the point of this entry... through the entire fall I was fortunate enough to work with a friend and fellow artist, Wolf Luman, and to sustain a deep dialogue through music and movement. He would communicate through brilliant sound that streamed into my ears, I would answer by following what my body needed to say in honest response. We never met in person, but kept a steady flow of tracks and filmed rehearsal sessions volleying back and forth. A few months later, Wolf had created an entire new album and without knowing it I created an hour of movement, obviously the fruit of both of which was a stand alone performance piece. And when you create such a beautiful performance piece, you have to perform it! And we did. And it felt incredible. And the audience was enraptured. There’s more to explore here about creating such a personal work through organic mediums (body and sound) with completely digital communication, but I’ll save it for another day.

I think the greatest takeaway is that a performance experience doesn’t necessitate ‘performing’ if you’re simply being authentic and present in live movement research. During each second of my hour long performance/sound exploration I was making choices - to move or not to move, if I decided to move what did my body need to do to fulfill my internal needs and the needs of the relationship between music and myself at that split second in time? What was I feeling at any given second and how could I merge that with what I wanted to say with my body? Yes, I recognized the fact that I was being watched and yes, those individuals viewing the performance shifted the goal ever so slightly just due to the fact that they were present in the space and all focusing their energy on the same subject (me!), but it was ok.

Looking ahead, where does this new found intrigue in exploring movement in front of others lead? Perhaps for me, a performance that is enjoyable and satisfying will always be improv so I can be absolutely authentic in any given split second of movement. In any case, I’m happy to have the beautiful ability to evolve, grow and see where the self exploration takes me.

Image from performance at Goddard College, Feb 1, 2016. - Photo Credit: Dan Goldman

Image from performance at Goddard College, Feb 1, 2016. - Photo Credit: Dan Goldman

tags: dance, collaboration, composition, performance, performing, presence, authentic, authentic movement, real, exploration
categories: Reflection & Exploration
Monday 03.07.16
Posted by Kimberleigh Holman
Comments: 1